I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
