Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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