How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
