who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
