just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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