my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
