i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And then he peed in my hair
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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