I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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