Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
