last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize