I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
