I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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