she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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