Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
