Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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