You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
