Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
