So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
