So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
