Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
