she woke up with a sticky ear
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
