That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
