I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
