margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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