Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
