You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have feelings that need drinking.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
