All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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