even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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