im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize