using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
