oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
