you're like a bully in the Christmas story
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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