We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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