Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.

(248): View more from Michigan

who is this?

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(718): View more from New York

I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn

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(604): View more from British Columbia

she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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(510): View more from California

You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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(616): View more from Michigan

On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.

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(443): View more from Maryland

also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.

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(813): View more from Florida

Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"

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(708): View more from Illinois

Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.

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