You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
