No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize