Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
