I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
