So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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