So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
