My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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