As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
