I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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