he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
