this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
