I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
