Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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