3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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