There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
