dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
