I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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