After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize