Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
