go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
