Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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