so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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