I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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