I wannas sexs uuuuu
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
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