I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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