Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize