i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
