Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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