I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize