yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
