I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
