I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
